Saturday, August 27, 2016

Kids and Emotions! Empathize to Sympathize!

It was a spellbound moment for Mahima when her 4 year old kid uttered magical words difficult for her to believe!!! Yes, what can be more fascinating than a bunch of words from a little creature that has just started to observe this world, develop its own perceptions and integrate sustenance. Mahima who was trying to explain her Family members how the long scarf that she wore got caught in the wheels of the bike during her travel through the office campus ,was taken aback when she heard a little voice from a long distance asking, 
Leave about the cycle, What happened to you ?you got hurt?.  
Surprising thing was that the child was busy doing something with its play items. While she was just explaining about the travel,wheels,cycles, vis-à-vis all material things and nothing about her, the point that the child focused on made her think about its emotional mould. The mom could obviously not resist her tears the moment she unexpectedly heard this.Even though that was a very simple gesture, she felt like should could die that very moment. Not in the absolute sense, of course, just that she wanted the moment to turn eternal !  
Believe you agree these are magical words indeed considering the age and the amount of care! The best thing was that the child was again back to its regular set of activities without even showing a glimpse of utterance.  Mischief back on track :) 
Keeping the sentiments apart, the incident brought to light two things.First, the children observe each and every action of ours.Second and the most important, their mode of thinking, the kind of perceptions they develop through each situation that goes a long way in ensuring emotional stability !Integrating emotional stability should be the prime Focus of Parents starting as early as toddler stage through their early teens , the proper development of which will take care of them for the rest of their life.!
On the other day, when I was talking to another parent during a school day function, I could apparently sense her anxiety about her kid not verbose like the others. I was suddenly prompted to ask her nativity to check if the same language is spoken both at home and outside for which her answer was in negative. Understandably, this has nothing to do with the child’s learning capabilities and is just a matter of habituation to surroundings that is bound to take time. Hearing this, the parent’s face lit up as she had presumed it to be the child’s learning capacity. Stuffing such a kind of notion in the child will put a lot of emotional stress on the child making it feel worthless hampering its growth to a larger extent.
I feel noteworthy mentioning a few points here that many parents may already be aware of , but just to serve as reminder to promote better empathy,
1. Each and every child is unique. Do not indulge in comparison thereby spoiling individuality.
2. Learn to make children focus more on contribution than competition in any field they choose. Competition may ,of course, provide short term success but adaptation to contribution can promote enduring satisfaction and peace of mind that proves vital for health as a whole. In addition, concentrating on competition alone will cause more rivalries, disturbing ultimate Harmony. Contribution will rather provide a Win-Win situation.These kids can make the environment around them more amicable.
3. Use your affluence in the right way. With the parents now more capable of getting everything the child asks, more responsibility in choosing the right things becomes quintessential to make sure that they don’t possess ‘have it all’ and ‘know it all’ attitude that cultivates an imperious temperament parting them from the rest of the society.
4. Pay heed to each and every correspondence of the kid. It might hold great relevance no matter how simple it sounds to be. This will prove helpful in developing good rapport with them which goes a long way in promoting friendship and peaceful co-existance. Ignoring the correspondence considering it petty may prove costly in two ways emotionally.Either the child becomes insecure in expressing their thoughts outside for the fear of disapproval or the child becomes contemptuous to carry out things on their own terms.
Building prospective people for the society is surely no small deed. We need subtle ways to make sure that we set the right path for them to explore.

Happy Parenting! 

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